Saturday, November 08, 2003
Lost Joy
It's been at the back of my mind lately that I'm not living a particularly joyful life right now, nonetheless, having this pointed out to me on Thursday was still something of a shock. My co-worker Richard asked if I was coming in on Friday, and my answer was a quite unenthused "I guess". He replied with something along the lines of: "You don't sound very excited about it. I can remember when you were always so happy to come in to work."
Ouch.
So what DID happen to that joy? It wasn't suddenly snatched from me by some joystealer, but rather, it's been slowly suffocated by school, work, self-reliance and a lack of devotional time. The sad thing is that I know the problem, I know a good start to a solution, but I just don't feel like doing anything. I'm sure I've probably discussed this feeling here before, the apathy, the sense of being in limbo... I know I should pray. I know I should do devos. I know I should reach out to God in someway. But I just can't be bothered.
And that's scary.
It's just too bad that it's not scary enough to motivate me.
It's been at the back of my mind lately that I'm not living a particularly joyful life right now, nonetheless, having this pointed out to me on Thursday was still something of a shock. My co-worker Richard asked if I was coming in on Friday, and my answer was a quite unenthused "I guess". He replied with something along the lines of: "You don't sound very excited about it. I can remember when you were always so happy to come in to work."
Ouch.
So what DID happen to that joy? It wasn't suddenly snatched from me by some joystealer, but rather, it's been slowly suffocated by school, work, self-reliance and a lack of devotional time. The sad thing is that I know the problem, I know a good start to a solution, but I just don't feel like doing anything. I'm sure I've probably discussed this feeling here before, the apathy, the sense of being in limbo... I know I should pray. I know I should do devos. I know I should reach out to God in someway. But I just can't be bothered.
And that's scary.
It's just too bad that it's not scary enough to motivate me.
