~ Being Real ~

Calvary Baptist Church Misawa, Japan

(Taken from Mel's Adventures in Japan)

I went to church in Japan for the first time today. It was definitely a bit of a weird experience, and it made me realize a few things:

1) becoming part of an established faith community takes work and perseverance
2) one friendly face/one person acknowledging that you're new and welcoming you makes a HUGE difference
3) a written order of service can be very comforting/help ease the feeling of disorientation
4) ultimately, worship isn't about me, but GOD

So that's the summary. Feel free to stop reading here. The rest of this post is going to be my recollection of and musings on the experience.

Thank goodness I spent a good hour online yesterday afternoon/evening looking up Misawa maps and plotting my route to the church! The Calvary Baptist Church (CBCM) website had what has got to be one of the most useless set of directions and map that I have encountered:


DRIVING DIRECTIONS:

From the main gate, go straight.
At the third stoplight, make a LEFT turn.
At the next stoplight, make a RIGHT turn.
The church will be on your LEFT.


And that was it!! They didn't give any landmarks, plus they didn't even orient the map properly (i.e. north-east-south-west)!

Luckily I found a map online that showed stoplights, landmarks, and major and small roads, because I overshot the main gate and had to go back. Considering how directionally-challenged I am, I was quite proud of the fact that my little detour only took about five minutes to correct. (Okay, I actually also missed the left turn at the stoplight because I forgot to count the main gate stoplight, but I didn't have to turn back to find the church, so I'm not counting that mistake!)

And even though I had to take a different route going home (the road I took going up was a one-way street up to the main gate), I didn't get lost at all on the way back! (God was definitely at work there! =P)

Anyway, I made it to the church with a couple of minutes to spare before the service was scheduled to start and in the foyer there was a sign that said "Visitors please sign in here." So I walked up to the table--still kind of looking at the sign, but the lady there didn't say anything, just gave me a quizzical smile, so I didn't say anything and just turned to go into the sanctuary.

Apparently I should've said something because they give a bag of cookies to first-time visitors, but I've always been the type to avoid asking for help/things, so that's kind of where #2 (in my list of realizations) comes into play.

When the guy leading the service explained about the bag of cookies (and I noticed that the couple in front of me had a key chain that said "visitor 20") I felt pretty dumb for not signing in, but at the same time, I was kind of thinking that if the lady had even said "hello" I would've felt more comfortable about identifying myself as a visitor. So that was my negative experience of #2.

As a positive experience, of #2, however, during the "let's stand up and greet each other" time, a woman, Shinobu, came up and introduced herself to me. She asked me if it was my first time at the church, and briefly mentioned that the church's pastor had fallen ill and had to return to the US, so they were currently without a pastor, but she hoped that I would join in some of the many activities the church had to offer. Up to that point, I had been wondering if I really wanted to make the drive out to Misawa for church in English every week.

Even though I was among people who could speak English, I felt out of place. (It didn't help that almost everyone there seemed to be part of a family from the American base.) I wondered if it would be better for me to go to a Japanese speaking church in Towada. I might not understand the songs or the messages (or anything, really), but at least there would be with people from my local community. And who knows, maybe I could make some friends and/or improve my Japanese!

I'm actually still thinking about it (I've found the address for a baptist church in Towada), but thanks in large part to Shinobu, I'm feeling more like I should give CBCM a few more tries before going to the Towada church.

Actually, I think I'm coming to a fifth realization here. The hardest thing about the service today was the wave of homesickness that struck me as I sat in the pew, waiting for service to begin. As I looked around, I wasn't thinking "I'm glad to be back at a church after all these months," but "I wish I was back at MCBC." And I can't help but wonder if that feeling isn't part of the reason I put off looking for a church until I had my car and could drive to an English-speaking church in Misawa. I mean, I sort of knew there was a baptist church in Towada, so if I had wanted to, I could've looked it up online and ridden my bike there. Maybe I knew, subconsciously, that going to church in Japan would be the thing to make me feel the most homesick, so I wanted to avoid that?

But back to my experience today. As I mentioned, I felt really homesick as I was sitting (by myself) in the pew, waiting for the service to start--so much so that I could actually feel tears welling up. Whirling around in my mind were all these thoughts of how uncomfortable I felt. As the service started, however, I caught myself and had to remind myself that being at church wasn't supposed to be all about me, it was about worshipping GOD (realization #4).

That thought helped a lot. When I caught myself focusing on minor differences between CBCM and MCBC, I reminded myself "it's about God" and that helped me to stop nit-picking. That said, some of the differences made me appreciate the small things MCBC does, for example:

1) printing the order of service on the bulletin (realization #3): even though we don't always follow it as it's printed, I think it does help ease a newcomer's feeling of disorientation; I especially missed having the scripture passage for the message printed because I didn't catch the full scripture reference, so I had to flip through all of 2 Corinthians to find the passage while it was being read--and to make it harder, the person doing the reading wasn't reading directly from the NIV Bible or the translation they had in the pews, but was kind of doing his own thing.

2) passing the offering bag through all rows: I actually planned on giving offering, but the ushers (or whatever you want to call the people collecting the offering) didn't pass the plate down my pew (I was at the side and they were going down the middle) because I didn't know to make a gesture to indicate that I wanted to give something (like flashing an envelope or nodding my head, or something); I guess they don't want people to feel obligated, but at the same time, it made it awkward for me as a person who did want to give an offering

3) ask for newcomers to identify themselves and to fill out a card: according to guy chairing the service, there were supposed to be cards for newcomers to fill out in the pews, but I didn't see any, so since I missed signing in, there wasn't any way for me to identify myself as a visitor to the church; it wouldn't be a big deal if I wasn't planning on coming back, but since I want to try to become a part of the community, I would've like'd to have been able to make myself known without having to go up and start talking to someone randomly (and how would I know who was a regular member and who wasn't, anyway?)

I know I'm complaining/criticizing a lot, but it wasn't all discomfort and awkwardness. Apart from the song for the call to worship and the song of response, I knew all the songs. And I don't think I've belted out songs like that in a long time (last Sunday at MCBC I was too tired to really put everything into my singing). Not knowing anyone made me feel a little freer to focus on singing to God (I wasn't thinking about what to do after service, who I needed to talk to, etc.).

Plus I actually took notes on the message (I haven't done that in a LONG time)! Objectively the message was more self-helpish and less Bible-based than I would've liked, but the speaker did have some interesting illustrations and good points. He was talking about problems and troubles. The distinction he made between the two is that problems have a solution, but troubles require rescue.

An example he gave was some firefighters in California. They needed to find a way to stop a large fire from jumping a road and spreading. That was a problem that they were trained to deal with. But while they were working on that, a big wind came and suddenly they were surrounded by flames. That was trouble that required a helicopter to come and spread some fire retardant and to rescue them.

He talked about how our responses to problems and troubles need to be different. For problems, we should pray for strength and wisdom to solve them, but for troubles, we should pray for weakness so that we can allow God to be our strength and to save us.

Another point he made was that the root problem is sin. As a problem, it has a solution, but it is also a trouble because the solution requires/required rescue through Jesus's salvation.

As you can probably tell from my ability to recollect the message, I found it pretty interesting, and it reminded me that I do need to take time to listen to and reflect on God's word.

Disciple: Week 9, Days 2-3

The Difference

When I was reading the story of King Saul yesterday, I kept wondering if what he did was really so bad that he deserved to be rejected by God as King of Israel.

Yes, he spared the life of King Agag of the Amalekites and kept the best sheep, cattle and calves alive although he was supposed to completely wipe out the Amalekites and everything that belonged to them. And true, he kept the livestock alive out of greed, but it’s not like he committed adultery, got the woman pregnant and then arranged to have the woman’s husband killed for fear of discovery, right?

Of course the latter is precisely what King David did.

Sure, David was punished—the child born of the adulterous affair died and later his own son tried to kill him—but not like Saul, who ended up losing his sons, kingdom and life.

But when I thought about it a little more, I realized that the key difference between Saul and David was not what they did, but their attitudes.

This probably sounds very obvious—like a Sunday school answer—but it was nonetheless a meaningful revelation for me.

God wasn’t just angry that Saul disobeyed or that Saul allowed greed to overcome him, but rather God was angry that Saul demonstrated a complete lack of reverence or fear of the Lord.

Samuel spends an entire night crying out to Lord for Saul, but when Samuel goes to confront Saul, he is told that Saul has gone to Carmel to “set up a monument in his own [honour]” (1 Samuel 15:12). God has given Israel victory over the Amalekites, but instead of thanking God, Saul immediately goes off to glorify himself.

And what’s the first thing he says to Samuel when Samuel catches up with him? “The Lord bless you! I have carried out the Lord’s instructions (1 Samuel 15:13).” What supreme arrogance! It takes a lot of nerve to lie outright to one of God’s chosen servants!

Then when Samuel actually confronts Saul about his disobedience, Saul asserts that he “did obey the Lord” and tries to commend/excuse/justify himself saying (emphases added) “The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder, the best of what was devoted to God, in order to sacrifice them to the Lord your God at Gilgal” (1 Samuel 15:20-21). He does not apologize but instead tries to make his disobedience seem righteous or, failing that, to excuse himself by shifting blame for his actions onto his soldiers. (I also wonder at the translation “your God.” Does this mean that Saul does not acknowledge God’s rulership over him, or is it just a vagary of the translation process?)

It is only when Samuel tells him that God has rejected him as king that he admits to his guilt. But his apologies lack sincerity; even as he confesses his guilt, he still seeks to shift the blame: “I have sinned. I have violated the Lord’s command and your instructions. I was afraid of the people and so I gave in to them” (1 Samuel 15:24). (And apparently he can’t keep his excuses straight either.)

Moreover, after admitting his sin, Saul’s first instinct is to save face rather than to earnestly seek forgiveness from God:

“Now I beg you, forgive my sin and come back with me, so that I may worship the Lord.”

[. . .]

“I have sinned, but please honor me before the elders of my people and before Israel; come back with me, so that I may worship the Lord your God.” (1 Samuel 15:25, 30)

It’s clear that his confession is an appeasement tactic rather than a true acknowledgment of his sin. He isn’t looking for reconciliation with God; he just wants Samuel to “forgive him” so that he (Saul) can put on a proper show of worshipping God. (And again, there's that “your God.”)

Contrast Saul’s behaviour with David’s:

As soon as Nathan confronts him with his sin, David admits “I have sinned against God” (2 Samuel 12:13). That’s it. No excuses or justifications, just a simple acknowledgment of the truth.

Another sign of David’s true repentance is his acceptance of his son’s. He knows that he was in the wrong and so does not try to escape the consequences that follow. True, he fasts and pleads with God for his son’s life while the child is ill and dying, but once the child is dead, he cleans himself and “[goes] into the house of the Lord and [worships]” (2 Samuel 12:20).

And even later he shows that he has truly repented by correcting his ways. Pastors and scholars often point out that David’s first sin was staying at home when he should have been leading his soldiers into battle. Well, in 2 Samuel 21:15-17, David is among his men while they fight the Philistines. He’s so involved, in fact, that he nearly gets killed and, as a result, his men swear to him: “Never again will you go out with us to battle, so that the lamp of Israel will not be extinguished.”

Again, this all may seem really obvious, but I think it’s the first time I’ve really appreciated the difference between the two men.

And it makes me think about my own attitude towards God and repentance. When I pray for God to forgive my wrongs, am I truly being sincere in asking forgiveness? Or, like Saul, am I simply praying out of a sense of obligation and in the hopes of somehow appeasing God?

Disciple: Week 8 (belated)

Gideon: God’s Strength in Weakness

The story of Gideon is one of the most amazing in the Bible to me because Gideon is such an “un-amazing” character. He really doesn’t have any stand-out qualities. In terms of social/familial position, his clan is the weakest in Israel, and he is the youngest (lowliest) in his family. Even more interestingly, he is pretty lowly/weak in terms of faith initially too.

When the Angel of the Lord appears before Gideon, he questions the Lord’s faithfulness to the Israelites:

“But sir,” Gideon replied, “if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders . . .?” (Judges 6:13)

He isn’t obedient like Abraham, who left everything that was familiar to follow God’s calling. He isn’t faithful like Joseph, who believed that God was working even in his suffering. And he isn’t even quick-witted like Moses, who came up with all sorts of different excuses to avoid doing God’s bidding.

Apart from his concern that “[his] clan is the weakest in Manaseh, and [he] is the least in his family,” Gideon doesn’t really have any excuses for not doing what the Lord asks. But nonetheless, he asks for signs three times before finally going to do the Lord’s bidding and defeating the Midianites (Judges 6:17-18, 36-37, 39). You’d think that a man of faith would at least be convinced after God showed him the first sign!

Not only does Gideon seem to lack faith in God, but he is also depicted as something of a coward. When Gideon is introduced, he is “threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites” (Judges 6:11). This is not a bold, brave man, willing to perform his tasks in the natural way—and to heck with any enemies!—that the Lord selects:

Now the Lord [calls] Gideon.
Where [is] he? In a winepress, separating what from chaff! Why [isn’t] he out in the open where the wind [can] blow the chaff away? Because he [is] hiding from the Midianites; he [is] afraid! Notice the irony when the Angel of the Lord [says] to Gideon, “The Lord is with you, you mighty warrior.” Mighty indeed! He [is] hiding! (Disciple, 61)

Moreover, when God tells Gideon to destroy his father’s altar to Baal and Asherah pole and to build an altar where he can make a burnt offering to the Lord instead, Gideon does it at night rather than in the daytime because he is “afraid of his family and the men of the town” (Judges 6:22)! And when the townspeople are up in arms because of his actions, he doesn’t even come out to defend himself but leaves his father to deal with the hostile crowd (Judges 6:30-32). What a coward!

And yet, Gideon ultimately leads the Israelites in subduing the Midianites and the Israelites are able to enjoy peace for forty years during Gideon’s life.

I love the story of Gideon because it shows that God can use even a lowly person, cowardly and weak in faith to fulfill his purposes. And even more than that, it shows that God accepts us where we are and lifts us up so that we can grow.

God doesn’t reject Gideon in favour of a better candidate when Gideon shows his doubt and keeps asking for signs; God gives Gideon the signs that he asks for. I mean, when you compare Gideon to Biblical greats like Abraham and Joseph, he seems pretty pathetic, but you’ve also got to consider that he’s living an age where the Israelites are oppressed for having done evil and forgotten the Lord. The stories he’d been told about the Lord’s deliverance of the Israelites from the Egyptians probably seemed like little more than folktales than reality up until the point when the Angel of the Lord actually spoke to him. So yeah, I think God understands that and is willing to do what he can to bolster Gideon’s faith.

I think that’s an aspect of God’s calling to serve that we don’t really think about. We all try to build ourselves up to reach the point where we feel ready to serve God, but, really, God is more than capable of making up for the areas where we are lacking. I don’t have enough faith? God will show me that he is deserving of faith. I’m afraid? God will ease my fears. I don’t feel qualified? God will provide training or others who can fill in the gaps.

Lately I’ve been having second thoughts about going to Japan (assuming I get accepted into the JET program, that is). Japan is a pretty non-Christian society—not in the persecution sense, but in the consumerist/materialistic, theologically relativist sense. I’m afraid that without the comfort of a home church/small group or the familiarity of serving in an established capacity I’m going to just let myself drift away from God. Given what my past experiences and what I know of myself, this is a perfectly reasonable, realistic fear.

But—and I don’t know how to explain this exactly—reading the story of Gideon just made me feel like things will work out okay in the end. It’s like, I don’t have to be a great, heroic figure of a Christian, y’know? Even in my weakness, God can still make a way to use me.

P.S. - I did do my Disciple reading for today (Week 9, Day 1), but I wanted to finish this thought from last week more than I wanted to write about Samuel today.

Disciple: Week 8, Day 3

The story of Joshua is an amazing display of communal obedience to God.

Following God's directives, Joshua commanded the people: "Do not give a war cry, do not raise your voices, do not say a word until the day I tell you to shout. Then shout!" (Joshua 6:10)

Can you imagine? The entire fighting force ("armed men") of Israel marching around the city of Jericho in silence for a total of 13 times in 7 days? I couldn't even get my classes (max size of 20 kids) to walk from the portable to the computer lab in relative quiet!

But the Israelites (for once) obeyed, and God brought down the walls of Jericho for them.

It boggles the mind.

Then one man out of hundreds of thousands, Achan, disobeyed God by taking some of the plunder of Jericho and immediately 3000 Israelite men were routed by the men of Ai (amazingly, however, only 36 died). When Achan's sin was revealed, he and his entire family were stoned to death.

And then there's Judges. The Israelites forgot God and worshipped other gods, and so God delivered them into the hands of foreign kings.

The lesson is pretty obvious, as the "Assignment" blurb in Disciple clearly states:

The Book of Joshua stresses what occurs when the people "trust and obey," when the leadership is faithful and the people are united.
The Book of Judges stresses what happens when the people do no "trust and obey," when they act individually rather than as a united community.

But while the lesson is easy to understand, it's much more difficult to apply. When I look at my life--even when I look back on my day--I can see the myriad of times and ways I've disobeyed God, whether directly or in principle.

I guess that's one of the reasons Christians nowadays like the New Testament so much better than the Old: we don't like to think of God as a righteous God who requires our obedience; we like to think of God as a loving God who offers us forgiveness. It's all too easy to fall into the trap of unintentionally testing God's grace (Romans 6).

Disciple: Week 7, Day 2

Eh... Finished the reading but don't really have much to say about it.

So that's it for today. ^^;;

Disciple: Week 7, Day 1

And, one week later…

^^;;

Yeah, so I haven’t been doing so well in terms of keeping the blog up-to-date. I have been trying to do the readings daily, though last week I was pretty much out all day from Wed.-Sat. so I ended up reading days 4-6 Sunday afternoon right before going to small group.

^^;;

I know, I know, that’s not the point. I’m going to try a bit harder from now on!

Anyway, in terms of today’s reading (Exodus 24-27), it was mostly about the specifications for the building of the Ark of the Covenant and the Tabernacle.

It was kind of tedious to read, but I guess it made me think that God really does care about how we worship him. I mean, why else would he bother going into such elaborate and exacting detail?

I found this passage from The Tabernacle Place website very helpful in explaining the passage:

God knew that the Israelites needed visual evidence of His presence. When Moses went up to Mount Sinai for 40 days and the people did not see or hear from him, they grew impatient and gathered their gold to form a golden calf that they worshipped in place of God. After ten generations of living in Egypt, it was not surprising that the Israelites mimicked the Egyptians in fashioning a visual idol of their own. This act of disobedience demonstrated their need to follow and worship a God who was visually tangible. God’s provision of a tabernacle — itself a splendor to behold — not only allowed the people to sense His presence, but also to see their leader go in to meet with God in a concrete place and not disappear up a mountain.

The tabernacle of Moses is a lesson of unquestionable authority

The tabernacle was more than just a dwelling place. All the components of the tabernacle were part of an intricate visual aid to illustrate God's relationship with His people. One aspect of this relationship was God’s requirement for complete obedience. God told Moses to create the tabernacle exactly the way He commanded. It was not to stray from God’s blueprint.

“Make this tabernacle and all its furnishings exactly like the pattern I will show you.” (Exodus 25:9)

To this end, God gave very specific instructions about the size of each component and the materials the Israelites were to use, as we will see in the following sections of this discussion. These seemingly cumbersome rules were not intended to burden the people, but to show God’s unquestionable authority and holiness, and emphasize that people could only come to God on God’s terms, not on their own. They had to obey reverently not only in the construction of the tabernacle, but also in the way they worshipped. Any irreverence or ritual uncleanness could result from an individual being cut off from his people or in death.

The line about coming to God “on God’s terms” particularly struck me. I think I tend to focus on the caring, accepting aspects of God and forget God’s “unquestionable authority and holiness.”

Joeie sent out an email last week discussing the fear of the Lord, and although I didn’t really think too much about it when I first read it (I was at work), I think it’s very relevant to today’s reading:

Do we have dangerous familiarity with the presence of the Lord? Dangerous familiarity gets us to think that we can get right with God whenever we want; it lessens the conviction of the Spirit at the time the Spirit convicts because we assume that we can confess later (disobedience). (example: the CCF speaker shared about how as a pastor, he went to a conference w/ his male youth group and when the speaker asked those who were struggling with sexual sin to stand, the CCF speaker thought "okay, i struggle, but I'm not going to stand now b/c I'm with these youths and I'll set a bad example. I'll go home and confess.")

The kindness of God leads us into [repentance]; the fear of God keeps us right relationship with Him. When we go into Sunday service, do we have a critical mind or a hungry heart? When God's word comes forth, regardless of the preacher, do our hearts burn? Are we teachable people?

The fear of God is the beginning of intimacy w/ Him because if we want to see more of God's presence in our lives, we need to recognize that the presence of God is holy. God inhabits places and people who fear, respect and welcome Him.

So what does this mean for me?

For starters, I think it means that I need to study the Old Testament more seriously than I have so far. It’s easy to look at the OT and discount/dismiss a lot of it (after all, the New Testament is about the new covenant, which is most obviously relevant to us today), but I’m starting to see that the OT really shows the awesome God, worthy of our reverence and fear.
I also think I need to work out what it means to come to God on “God’s terms” rather than my own.

Disciple: Week 6, Day 1

So today we read the 10 Commandments as outlined in Exodus AND Deuteronomy—again. That means that we’ve basically read the same thing for this study four times over.

Anyway, we’re supposed to compare the two passages. I don’t really see a lot different about them, except that in Deuteronomy, Moses spends more time reminding the people that God delivered them from Egypt:

"Observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy, as the LORD your God has commanded you. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your ox, your donkey or any of your animals, nor the alien within your gates, so that your manservant and maidservant may rest, as you do. Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the LORD your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Therefore the LORD your God has commanded you to observe the Sabbath day." (Deuteronomy 5:12-15)

Contrast this to Exodus:

"Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy." (Exodus 20:8-11)

I suppose this stuck out to me because last week was all about God’s deliverance of the Israelites from Egypt. And I guess that by this point in Deuteronomy, the Israelites had probably already forgotten the miraculous deliverance from the Egyptians and therefore needed the reminder.

Yeah…There are some more thoughts percolating in my head, but I’m too tired to stay up and let them brew properly. More tomorrow! (Hopefully!)