Friday, July 04, 2003
Half Full
Onlya little bit more than 24 hrs before I'm flying off to Grenada and things are quite a mess.
I just finished a very rough draft of my testimony, and it's pretty bad. Before I started I had a good idea of what I wanted to say, and the type of message I wanted to convey, but in writing it didn't turn out even close. ^^;; In my mind I had a clear focus, but that focus doesn't come through in what I've written at all.
Also, I only found out at our team meeting on Tuesday that I'm going to be preparing a workshop on sexual purity (with another team member, thank goodness!). Even though I've got a couple of thoughts about the issue, mostly from Josh Harris' books--"I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and "Boy Meets Girl"--my thoughts aren't organized enough to make up a comprehensible workshop with.
Then there's the crafts for VBS. We managed to get our supplies purchased on Wednesday (which was something of a minor miracle, in my opinion), but we still haven't finished our preparations! I've got to make a whole bunch of strips of paper with our VBS' main memory verse (John 1:12) on them for paper stars, and I don't even know if I got the thickness of the strips right on template sheet.
I haven't started packing, and am not going to get a chance to do so until tomorrow night (technically tonight). This means that if I forgot anything important, that's just too bad for me, unless I can buy it at Dominion, which is open 24 hrs. Otherwise I won't have a chance to go get whatever I missed.
Oh, and I haven't finished selecting my courses either, so if I end up relying on my parents to register for my courses for me, I'm pretty much dead. In fact, I'm not even sure if I've got the right registration date anymore!
Even though I've been aware of this problem for so long, I still haven't gotten my devotional life together. So spiritually I'm feeling like I'm running on less than empty. Physically I feel about the same, since I've been staying up late to see to correspondance things and such.
But you know what? Realizing how utterly unprepared I am for this trip isn't really worrying me right now. Maybe part of that is that I'm burnt out and therefore numb, but I don't really think that's the best explanation. I'm not worried because I believe that this lack of preparation is a way for God to reveal his awesome power and glory.
Whatever "successes" come from this trip, I won't be able to take any credit for them, but I'll know that they're TOTALLY the result of God because I am so unprepared. Whatever strength I find on this trip won't be from myself, but from God, because I know for sure that I don't have any energy right now. Whatever lessons are to be learned from the workshop will have to come from God, since I haven't been able to properly prepare it myself. Whatever hearts are touched by my testimony, will be touched by God and not my words, since I know that I'm not the most eloquent speaker, and I certainly haven't written a beautiful, logical, cohesive, coherent testimony.
If I wasn't so tired, I'd be amazed at the change God has wrought in me--that I'm not running around panicking and trying to get everything done right now. I'm going to do my best with what time I have, but for once I'm leaving the rest up to God.
Onlya little bit more than 24 hrs before I'm flying off to Grenada and things are quite a mess.
I just finished a very rough draft of my testimony, and it's pretty bad. Before I started I had a good idea of what I wanted to say, and the type of message I wanted to convey, but in writing it didn't turn out even close. ^^;; In my mind I had a clear focus, but that focus doesn't come through in what I've written at all.
Also, I only found out at our team meeting on Tuesday that I'm going to be preparing a workshop on sexual purity (with another team member, thank goodness!). Even though I've got a couple of thoughts about the issue, mostly from Josh Harris' books--"I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and "Boy Meets Girl"--my thoughts aren't organized enough to make up a comprehensible workshop with.
Then there's the crafts for VBS. We managed to get our supplies purchased on Wednesday (which was something of a minor miracle, in my opinion), but we still haven't finished our preparations! I've got to make a whole bunch of strips of paper with our VBS' main memory verse (John 1:12) on them for paper stars, and I don't even know if I got the thickness of the strips right on template sheet.
I haven't started packing, and am not going to get a chance to do so until tomorrow night (technically tonight). This means that if I forgot anything important, that's just too bad for me, unless I can buy it at Dominion, which is open 24 hrs. Otherwise I won't have a chance to go get whatever I missed.
Oh, and I haven't finished selecting my courses either, so if I end up relying on my parents to register for my courses for me, I'm pretty much dead. In fact, I'm not even sure if I've got the right registration date anymore!
Even though I've been aware of this problem for so long, I still haven't gotten my devotional life together. So spiritually I'm feeling like I'm running on less than empty. Physically I feel about the same, since I've been staying up late to see to correspondance things and such.
But you know what? Realizing how utterly unprepared I am for this trip isn't really worrying me right now. Maybe part of that is that I'm burnt out and therefore numb, but I don't really think that's the best explanation. I'm not worried because I believe that this lack of preparation is a way for God to reveal his awesome power and glory.
Whatever "successes" come from this trip, I won't be able to take any credit for them, but I'll know that they're TOTALLY the result of God because I am so unprepared. Whatever strength I find on this trip won't be from myself, but from God, because I know for sure that I don't have any energy right now. Whatever lessons are to be learned from the workshop will have to come from God, since I haven't been able to properly prepare it myself. Whatever hearts are touched by my testimony, will be touched by God and not my words, since I know that I'm not the most eloquent speaker, and I certainly haven't written a beautiful, logical, cohesive, coherent testimony.
If I wasn't so tired, I'd be amazed at the change God has wrought in me--that I'm not running around panicking and trying to get everything done right now. I'm going to do my best with what time I have, but for once I'm leaving the rest up to God.
