Monday, December 30, 2002
Everyday Integrity
Integrity was a topic that came up last term in the Applying the Message class, and recently I've been thinking about it quite a bit. Today, for example, I went to work with my mom. In the past when I've worked in an office setting I would check my email, the hockey pool, &etc. and make local personal calls without any thought. Since integrity has been in my mind, however, today I stopped to think about those actions.
I thought about all the justifications I can and have made for using the internet and phone at work for personal reasons: I'm not doing anything else anyway, so I might as well be paid for checking my email as for doing nothing; local calls don't cost the company anything anyway; the internet is already paid for, I might as well use it; and so on. Sure no one would accuse me of any wrongdoing, or even think my actions odd, but I really have to wonder if I could face God at the end of time and say, believing it with all my heart, that what I did was right.
It's hard to change, though. Despite the fact that I was considering the integrity of my actions at work, I did in fact make a call to a friend to set up a time to watch Star Trek: Nemesis. I thought about using my cellphone to make the call, but in the end the thought of saving daytime minutes, and hence saving money, overruled my doubts. Similarly my very strong desire to check up on the hockey pool led me to log onto the internet to check my standings, even though I managed to resist the temptation to check my email.
Seems like God's just making me more and more aware of how many details and areas of my life are under my own control and not his. And the more I realize this, the more I understand how necessary it is to really give ourselves up to God. It's only through God's strength and grace that I could ever live right; left on my own I'd choose convenience and desire over integrity at least ninety five percent of the time.
Integrity was a topic that came up last term in the Applying the Message class, and recently I've been thinking about it quite a bit. Today, for example, I went to work with my mom. In the past when I've worked in an office setting I would check my email, the hockey pool, &etc. and make local personal calls without any thought. Since integrity has been in my mind, however, today I stopped to think about those actions.
I thought about all the justifications I can and have made for using the internet and phone at work for personal reasons: I'm not doing anything else anyway, so I might as well be paid for checking my email as for doing nothing; local calls don't cost the company anything anyway; the internet is already paid for, I might as well use it; and so on. Sure no one would accuse me of any wrongdoing, or even think my actions odd, but I really have to wonder if I could face God at the end of time and say, believing it with all my heart, that what I did was right.
It's hard to change, though. Despite the fact that I was considering the integrity of my actions at work, I did in fact make a call to a friend to set up a time to watch Star Trek: Nemesis. I thought about using my cellphone to make the call, but in the end the thought of saving daytime minutes, and hence saving money, overruled my doubts. Similarly my very strong desire to check up on the hockey pool led me to log onto the internet to check my standings, even though I managed to resist the temptation to check my email.
Seems like God's just making me more and more aware of how many details and areas of my life are under my own control and not his. And the more I realize this, the more I understand how necessary it is to really give ourselves up to God. It's only through God's strength and grace that I could ever live right; left on my own I'd choose convenience and desire over integrity at least ninety five percent of the time.
